Beast of the Boulevard

Lotsa people wonder how they're gonna, you know, pull the string, you know, well, end it all, you know, - die. Well, (next statement is higly controversial) I consider myself lucky because due to some events, I managed to dug up a bit on a few plausible means of me dying. As ironic as it sounds this is no black magic or some tarrot card shit or anything it just got me figured.

1. Number one on the list. Highly plausible. Colon-cancer. It runs in the blood. My late grandfather died of it and some other causes are quite much leading me to having one.
2. Lung cancer. Having weak lung due to asthma and the harmful subtances that the world provide us, it is highly possible if I were to stay in a cold part of the world (like New Zealand perhaps) which thank God I am now in Malaysia. Tropical.
3. Diabetes. This is due to my craveness over anything sweet. If it's not sweet that I'm never gonna eat it. High sugar level could inable my insulin to be properly working.
4. Cardiac failure. Angina or whatever medical terms created to eufamised it. This is due to the diet that I practice and some other causes like stressed over on something that is actually small and no biggadeal.
5. Mechanical accident (cars and so on). Malaysia states one of the highest average death rate of car accidents.
6. Assasinated for being a cunning billionaire whom work his fortune all the way by stealing millions of people's lives by creating a genetically modified virus which I only have the cure and that it fell into some other party's hand.
7. Killed by my own genetically modified virus that were purposely made to make myself a billionaire.
8. Attacked, violated and broke by a bear in the woods.
9. Killed by my own wife for infidelity. I don't think I'm capable but some people just made it sound like its possible.
10. Took my own life for failing IB and that MARA took back the scholarship.

The post is fictitious (except that it had something to do with myself). Any similarities and resemblances are merely coincidence.