Insomniac

The past 4 nights had finally roll me into a conclusion that I might be mildly insomniac. Well, perhaps the number ain't big enough but I think this is a problem. I think I need help. For the past 4 nights, the earliest I would sleep is past 3am and like now, 5:47am I am not yet asleep. Why, you ask? Well, to put it in a nutshell, 4 days ago I just lost myself a million, RM of course. I am on a brink of danger as my RM 1 million worth of scholarship is pulling away from me. So you lost a million bucks, try sleeping with that thoughts!

So what did I do the whole night? Oh no no. Don't get the funny idea. I wasn't streaming and wanking through Brianna Banks or Audrey Bitoni. Yeah, I know, some of you does. Oh btw, a little detour here:

I was at Starbucks with my mom, then it took quite a long time for my friggin Caramel Macchiato (I bet the barista was too busy doing nothing), so I went for some magazine. From the magazines that they got there I'm sure they purposely want guys to have hard on. Well, you know, some caffeine kicking in and a few 'stimulating' magazines. So I reached for FHM (obviously I chosed the one with the hottest girl on the cover). Then I went back and sat with my mom STILL waiting for my drink (which haven't done yet. Baster barista.). Then I opened up the magazine around the middle page then POOF! came out a two pages of Sasha Grey as the guest of FHM. Then the following conversation took place:

My mom (being a mom): Sapa tu? Artist ke?
Me (nervously): Erm.. Eh, Taklah, Pelakon.

So guys, when you happened to open a magazine and a pornstar suprisingly featured on it, don't act surprised or your mom might reacted the same. Oh and yea, Sasha Grey wasn't that revealing, for her I guess. Go ahead, click that name.

Anyhow, what I did tonight was that I watched Evan Almighty and also The Bucket's List. Well, I gotta get my mind off something so why not hit on some inspirational movies, huh? The Bucket's List moved me. Seriously. Seriously. It did took me someplace for a while. Made me rethink about life and the whole purpose, you know, those re-ass-ess things. Then again, in the end I still can't get a nice shut eye. I encountered this a few times like when I'm going out late at night and I don't feel like going back early, or when you're playing a nice online game, or when you just out having sex, or when you're hanging with some friends without worrying a shit about the world, or just a decent conversation on the phone with your girlfriend. The stuff that made you feel something is undone, you just can't sleep yet (doing assignments are excluded). Oh and I made up the sex part. Never had them. Seriously. Seriously.

Then I thought maybe it's the Nifsu Syaaban. It's 15th of Syaaban and it is said that on this night, the Muslims believe that the angels (Malaikat) would bring up our deeds book and bring down a new one for a new chapter. I guess I was just nervous how my last call for the year might end up but hey, whadya know, a new book is coming down now. Or has came. Ntah.

So refused to hit the blanky, I went down to munch a mini Cornetto. Fine, I lied. I had six of em. Poured some rootbeer in the rebellious stomach while tuning in to Simpsons. Then a couple of few shows.

Then I thought, what really made my mind conspicuously active tonight? Then I realised, perhaps maybe I am not conversing with anyone. When I am not conversing with anyone, I feel lonely. When I'm lonely I might be missing stuff or people or someone. Then it occured to me that I do need help.

"A princess can kiss a toad"
"Frog"
"Toad"
"Frog"
"Toad, frog, lobster, they're all the same"

Beautiful Day

I do wonder, when will I get back on my feet? Am I being hexed?

So there were;

You got scolded by your Biology teacher in class for scoring lowest in class for Bio test with a mark of 4/36 and 5/17. Not to forget, for involving in the incident of going to the washroom when she entered the class which pretty much pissed her off.

You get all emotional and unable to be professional during a debate entitled "Social Networking Have Improved Communication". You stuttered and you're being abscent minded. You get a remark that you unlikely want to hear. Oh and you gave the guest a terrible perception about yourself.

You've just realised that you've been living in denial all this while that some things are just too late to handle.

You bump into some people that you wish you won't bump into.

And you just knew that you MIGHT not be able to pursue your study for any Med School in UK, Ireland, New Zealand and Australia as your name is not on any of the list.

You knew you only have one option left which is Czech Rep. but then you really feel that you're friggin sure you won't be going there as your name might again not be in the list and that your dad really discourage you to go to Czech Rep. and that you have to learn their language to study there, no offence.

What suprised you is, all of these events happened in a day like today.

I wonder what awaits me tomorrow. Do cut me some slack, I am begging here.