Disturbed

Thanks to a few of my friends I just got myself a 'dream cocktail' today. A mixed of everything nice and not. Gaaaahhh...

The dream was set at night. I was on a rooftop with a few fellow friends. So they were talking and all. Then a friend of mine (he-must-not-be-named) was juggling 3 oranges. For a reason I could laugh and pee in my pants at the same time. Then I was heading down when out of sudden there were tents. Pitchfork red coloured tents randomly on the ground. So I went inside one of it. It was quite dark as the only light presence is the shine from the moon. So I went and lay myself down in one of the tent. Out of all sudden a shadow was seen outside the tent. Then the tent was unzipped (whoa! dont get the wrong idea YET), and another friend of mine, well a colleague is more appropriate rather than a friend as I don't know her much, pops her head in (she-must-not-be-name). Honestly I remembered that I was not wearing decent clothing at that time so I blushly covered myself when she pops her head in. Then the magic happens, oh, I don't wanna get into the details but i remember the most when she twisted her hair on her finger. I swear I did not make this shit up but it was so fucking disturbing. Why? Some random colleague pops in my dream and hitting on me sexually, yes it is very much disturbing. The worst part is that I felt it. Then before things get too much, I woke up. Thank God :)

Post mortem:

So, the dream is a cocktail mixed of some occurences during the weekends.

The rooftop was a place that I spend time during the weekend.

The orange juggler is a friend of mine who really likes fresh orange who happens to be drinking too much of fresh orange during our hang out :).

The tents was because before I went to sleep, a friend of mine was telling me that a chick offered him some tents. Random.

The pitchfork red colour most probably because I wore red for the whole day from class to the library at night to celebrate the winning of The Kop.

The moonlight is because the study carol was on and it was right in front of my face when I was sleeping.

She-who-must-not-be-name is a colleague who I happened to walk behind her a day ago. No, I'm not a pervert and I don't have a crush or anything towards her (cause we barely even talk) but it wasnt planned, I swear to God.

The finger hair twisting took place during a memorable night. And a part of Hands Down lyric that I happened to be listening before I sleep.

And the disturbing part of the dream is because a day ago, a friend of mine was so curious on how men experienced sexually-like dream so I had to explained it to her as she was having somewhat of the same disturbing dream except that it is less obscene.

Must listen: The Blower's Daughter by Damien Rice

Must watch: Closer

Watch Star Wars saga with me and I'll marry you :)

No, I am not contented with what I have and no, no, no, I did not get what I want.

So, things just fall apart. Weekends are obviously never the same again. No going back home for 2 months. Prohibited to go out. Well, it's gonna be the same shit next sem.

It's all about the goddam priorities. Well, I believe that having too many priorities just make none priority.

There are nothing much to post blog about lately as its the same shit everyday in college. Stuck in emotional turmoil I am finding my way out. Well, I'm not gonna mention any hardships that I'm facing or anything because its just pathetic.

What I know is that I missed those days.

No, I don't. Then again, I do.

Hands down, why would I be bothered of doing something that I'm never good at anyway?
Might as well concentrate on something that I'm good at which is yet to be found.

I've been nothing but a wheenie whiner.

Then something stroke me. I remembered being beside the deathbed of my grandfather. I thought of what he might be thinking. I'm sure if I were in his shoes I would be regreting of what I've done and what I should have done.

So, carpe diem quam minimum credula prostero :)

Then again, I can't do it. Fuck. Good luck, Manul.

Must listen: Kasabian - Underdog.

Beautiful Day

I do wonder, when will I get back on my feet? Am I being hexed?

So there were;

You got scolded by your Biology teacher in class for scoring lowest in class for Bio test with a mark of 4/36 and 5/17. Not to forget, for involving in the incident of going to the washroom when she entered the class which pretty much pissed her off.

You get all emotional and unable to be professional during a debate entitled "Social Networking Have Improved Communication". You stuttered and you're being abscent minded. You get a remark that you unlikely want to hear. Oh and you gave the guest a terrible perception about yourself.

You've just realised that you've been living in denial all this while that some things are just too late to handle.

You bump into some people that you wish you won't bump into.

And you just knew that you MIGHT not be able to pursue your study for any Med School in UK, Ireland, New Zealand and Australia as your name is not on any of the list.

You knew you only have one option left which is Czech Rep. but then you really feel that you're friggin sure you won't be going there as your name might again not be in the list and that your dad really discourage you to go to Czech Rep. and that you have to learn their language to study there, no offence.

What suprised you is, all of these events happened in a day like today.

I wonder what awaits me tomorrow. Do cut me some slack, I am begging here.

I still haven't found what I'm looking for.

So the Malay A1 test is over. I managed to get it done half an hour earlier and pay the sleeping debt of last night. I did not have a nice sleep last night as I did not sleep at all. GAAAHHH!
So while everyone is struggling doing their Malay test, I took my way to the dreamland.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I remember I was wearing a yellow crocs (which I only own the red one). So there was a bunch of kids. Oh, as I recall it looks like Sunway Lagoon. So i accidently kicked my crocs down the slide where the kids then threw it further down somekinda ledge. So I suicidely jumped to get my crocs and end up in a pool full of phony grownups. I managed to get only one side of my crocs whereas the other is still missing. Then I managed to climb up a slide from the pool. As I was at the peak, someone that I don't wanna meet is there. Crap. So we were forced to be in the same cart to go down the slide from the peak. We refused to talk to each other and I am very very contented that way :)

"Okay, masa dah tamat!".
So I woke up.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I should go to sleep now. I thought of some dorky idea. I wish I could spend hours watching Star Wars Saga back to back with someone. Anyone up to it? Perhaps that could put a smile on my face :).

Underdog

Emotion turmoil. My neurons stop sending impulses especially to the brain. Everything seems to be moving faster, lately or perhaps I am the one that ain't moving at all.

Time is what I need and time is what I don't have. I don't know how to feel. I don't know what to feel.

Gosh, this is so pessimist. Give me a reason to smile..