Hello 2010!

New Years Resolution..

Do not ask me for one. I have no resolutions. Oh no not me, I'm doing it my way ;)

Oh, and where to bound on new year? I'll be friggin driving for some number of hours on midnight.

HAPPY NEW YEAR and good luck with all the resolutions :)

Balls 'em

Generally speaking, male always have a thing for round-shaped items.
They love to kick 'em, throw 'em, bounce 'em, chip 'em, bat 'em, hold 'em, squeeze 'em, grab 'em *cough*cough* enough said, I guess..

Observe, football, basketball, baseball and all other balls. Men are affiliated to balls. Unlike female, they enjoy balls in some circumstances.

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It was supercalistically nice to have the oppurtunity to get back to the sport that I had left for quite some time.

The green scenery, the range sign (150yrds etc.), the voice of the people talking and laughing at each others' sophisticated and lame jokes, the people showing off their skills, the lines formed on my palm, the blue veins sticking out to my thumb, the muscle pain, the nice sweet sound of the friction between the graphite iron 3 and the ball, the backache, the complicated physics, the techniques, the sparks formed , the distance where the ball went and a quality time with my own father.

Ahh.. Sweet golf.

Expect this!

Do you realised that people with different culture have that goggle of different views. Well, maybe they are coherent with each pther or some sort but yet they are still different. You see, we can somehow see this evidence in the movie industry. Observe:

Malay movie: The good gone bad OR the bad gone good OR that someone WILL die.
e.g: the bad disobeyed the mom, the mom's dead, the bad repent to be the good.

English movie: The protagonist is always there at the most crucial times with the right sound effects or music with it.
e.g: Super-whatsoever came at the right time to save Lois Jeans.

Hindi movie: Male and female falls in love and they became lovey dovey. Started to sing and so on but then something tear them apart. They will then make effort and everything ends with a happily ever after (or else the cinema will get torched).
e.g: a male from a poor family falls in love with a female from a rich family.

Tamil movies: DUSH! DUSH! All you get is a bang bang fight. DUSH!
e.g: N/A

Disney's movie: Everything is A-Okay and out of a sudden, a big trouble comes but then everything is settled at the end :).
e.g: the toys live happily until a friend is being kidnap then they went for an adventure to save the friend and he is then saved :).

French movie: They fall in love, they kiss, they make out, they copulate. Softporn.
e.g: Ma cherie, mi amour (fuckfuckfuck)

Japanese movie: Man being sexually confused.
e.g: a boy falls for a colleague in a boy's school.

Korean movie: Pathetic love story. One of the lover is dying and they will cherish whatever bullshit they have.
e.g: N/A

Indonesian movie: It's all about being religious that God will give back what you give.

Thailand movie: It's mainly about students being fags, lesbos or transsexual.

Movie made by jews: AWESOME. PERIOD.
e.g: Steven Spielberg, Hank Azaria, Sacha Baron Cohen,

SHIFT_the way you move

It was rather unfortunate for The Kop as they could finish off with a tide but then Johnson lead to a very careless own goal. Rather unprofessional but shit happens.

For all it's worth, I congratulate The Gunners for their winning. A great game indeed, worth of a commentary. With Kuyt there at the right time as he always had been and the little Russian Arshavin scored courageously. A former Kop, Xabi Alonso was also there to witness the battle between the 2 of the big four. Kudos to the Kop and the Gunners for the worth-watching game.

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Liverpool against Wigan Athletics in Anfield.

I did not managed to watch the first half but the second half was spectacular! Beautiful as a football match should be.

What interest me the most is the change of system for the Liverpool side. Reina, Agger (birthday boy on that day), Skrtl, Carragher, Mascherano, Aurelio, Insua, Benayoun, Kuyt, Gerrard, and Ngog. Eh, did I missed anyone? Oh yeah! Lucas. No he was not in at first! I know, suprising eh? Lucas was not in. No he wasn't injured or anything. He's just not in. Ngee..

So the change of system was pretty much the abscent of Lucas and Ngog as the 1 in the formation. The system then later on changed with Aurelio out and Lucas in so as Ngog out and subbed by spaniard Torres and Benayoun out for the so called super sub, italian Aurelio.

It was the 100th appearance of the pretty boy Torres for Liverpool. Having to scored 34 goals in 36 games in the EPL, I say that is pretty much impressive. Equipped with Nike Total 90, it wasn't enought thought for him as he hit the statistic to be 35 goals in 36 games in EPL as he wonderfully scored the double deflection ball against Wigan today. Beautiful.

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Note:

There was a part where the commentator did a funny bit.

"A decent defence by the douche, (pause) dutchmen".

Seriously it was funny if you hear it by yourself.

Beast of the Boulevard

Lotsa people wonder how they're gonna, you know, pull the string, you know, well, end it all, you know, - die. Well, (next statement is higly controversial) I consider myself lucky because due to some events, I managed to dug up a bit on a few plausible means of me dying. As ironic as it sounds this is no black magic or some tarrot card shit or anything it just got me figured.

1. Number one on the list. Highly plausible. Colon-cancer. It runs in the blood. My late grandfather died of it and some other causes are quite much leading me to having one.
2. Lung cancer. Having weak lung due to asthma and the harmful subtances that the world provide us, it is highly possible if I were to stay in a cold part of the world (like New Zealand perhaps) which thank God I am now in Malaysia. Tropical.
3. Diabetes. This is due to my craveness over anything sweet. If it's not sweet that I'm never gonna eat it. High sugar level could inable my insulin to be properly working.
4. Cardiac failure. Angina or whatever medical terms created to eufamised it. This is due to the diet that I practice and some other causes like stressed over on something that is actually small and no biggadeal.
5. Mechanical accident (cars and so on). Malaysia states one of the highest average death rate of car accidents.
6. Assasinated for being a cunning billionaire whom work his fortune all the way by stealing millions of people's lives by creating a genetically modified virus which I only have the cure and that it fell into some other party's hand.
7. Killed by my own genetically modified virus that were purposely made to make myself a billionaire.
8. Attacked, violated and broke by a bear in the woods.
9. Killed by my own wife for infidelity. I don't think I'm capable but some people just made it sound like its possible.
10. Took my own life for failing IB and that MARA took back the scholarship.

The post is fictitious (except that it had something to do with myself). Any similarities and resemblances are merely coincidence.

Sweetest sin

I remember the first day we met. It was like yesterday as I still taste it on my tongue. I was not very fond of you back then. Until I witness such charge that I need another touch, another taste, another fix. Then I knew, it ain't lust, it's love.

I started to make time with you once a day. Gradually it became three times a day up to a point that I just had to be with you for six to eight times a day. It was never enough. The presence of you, where every move and each impulse brings clarity and to stay like this is all that I ever need. If I'm lying I'm dying, I just can't have enough of you.

Every good things comes with a price. Our bond were challenged by so many obstacles. My parents disapproved you. My siblings too. Some of my relatives and friends too. However some likes you very much and even had the balls to said that they wanted you as theirs. Damn, was I jealoused. Then we rendevouz secretly without them knowing. Remember those times when sneaked in? Memories.

Then the challenged took its toll on me. I couldn't bare it on my shoulder and that is when I let you go. I let you went away. It was a long period of time and a day is like forever. Then time managed to heal me. I beginning to forget about you. Your smell, the touch on my lips, and your warm presence in my trouble. You were there when I was in trouble. You were there to hear every bit of my uttered word of wisdom and hatred.

I was fine when you were not around. I was a whole new man as happy as a king until one day. You showed up. You had th guts to show up in front of my naked eye. You were with my friends. Tempting me into your vicious trap. And so..
I fell back into you. Not knowing all the good things I could had without you around, I was purely blinded by you. I let my guard down and I fell for you again. So we spent time together most of the times. Hang out with our friends.

Then I knew now that I should have not fallen into you again. I realised how your evil trick works. I will put in my best effort not to fall into you again. No, not this time. Not the third time. I understand your scheme. I know them well. You too began to deteriorate my health, making me burn myself inside with every bit of your presence. You made my heart pops. You made me out of breathe with your charm. No! I'm no fool anymore. I will now resist you. I've found a new muse.

Thanks for the memories eventhough they wasn't so great. No, I don't love you. I hate you now. I do. If only you're human.

Goodbye, Dunhill, Marlboro and Winston. I'm stopping for real.

Square root of three.

I fear that I will always be a lonely number like root three,

A three is all that's good and right,

Why must my three keep out of sight,

Beneath a vicious square root sign?

I wish instead I were a nine,

For nine could thwart this evil trick,

With just some quick arithmetic.

And now I never see the sun,

As 1.7321.

Such is my reality,

A sad irrationality,

When, hark, what is this I see?

Another square root of a three,

Has quitely come waltzing by,

Together now we multiply,

To form a number we prefer,

Rejoicing as an integer.

We break free from our mortal bond,

And with a wave of magic wands,

Our square root sign become unglued,

And love for me has been renewed.

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Huh, I'm still a square root of three. None has been renewed.

Help!

Dashboard Confessional came out with a new album, Alter The Ending! Tunes to listen to:

Belle of The Boulevard

Even Now

Alter The Ending

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Honestly, right now I'm not sure what to feel. No, it's not the exam. I'm not looking foward to stay here, I'm not looking forward for the hols, I'm not looking forward for placement result, I'm just not sure what I have in mind. However, I do know that I am confused. Drop dead confused. Help!

Is it Saturday? Oh it's Sunday.

It gets interesting as you read further. Seriously.

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The boring part (you may skip this if you wish, no I won't get offended)

As mentioned previously, I am in the brink of the 3rd Semester examination (no, not the finals yet!). 2 Biology papers had passed and it was unpredictably hard. So as 2 Business and Management papers done and I was ill at ease that some said it was easy but the furthest that I thought I can go is 5 (it's a C). With few more papers coming, I'm not sure whether I'll live. Do not be suprised if the headline of a newspaper or tabloid come out with "Deadboy in campus".

I know it's the exam but the fact that The Blackburn Rovers won against Chelsea hooked me into watching The Rovers against Liverpool.

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Now we go down to business.

3:31 mins, was the first ambitious try by Emerton. I could literally fell asleep during the first half as both side were teasing each other trying to win possession with a sloth-kind-of-pace. I wondered before the match, Torres still taking care of his precious groin, Babel is out for his ankle injury, so who is playing foward? Voronin? Ah, Rafa wouldn't put him there. Suprisingly, it's our captain Gerrard who took the 1 in the 4-5-1 formation. The first half potraits The Rovers tactical playing and The Kop were playing as if they were having a training. Gerrard with the responsibility as a the striker, make his effort to carry the burden on his shoulder (more to like on his leg) but then again it is obviously seen that he is better as a skipper. A wonderful space was given to him but then he failed to score one at 37 minutes.

The second half? Having slow tempo during the first half, both team played with a faster pace on the second half. What kills me the most is that lots and lots of chances were wasted down the drain. Some said it was the caused of Ngog whom took over Reira responsibility in second half. The highlight was the perfect chance for scoring created for Liverpool. Johnson perfectly made his way into the box and an accurate pass was made to Ngog. So he shoot and the ball hit the top post instead of the net of the goal. It was full of suspense! Other substitution was El-Zhar for the Israeli Benayoun on the Kop's side.

The only booking was made in the game was a yellow card of El-Hadji Diouf on the Rover's side.

All and all, the spaniard Reina had a lot of saves and they were a piece of cake to him. None was penetrated into The Merseysider goal. The former Chelsea, Di Santo played well too having a lot of try and possession for Blackburn. The man of the match was obviously Johnson. Defended well, playing as the wing beautifully and created many chances. It was obvious that the kid rocks pretty much that evening.

Congratulation to The Gunners for their winning against Stoke City :)

Oh and what's up with Man City? livescore.com just showed Adebayor made an own goal.

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Oh, it's great to see you smile :)
You know who you are.

PES 2010

And so my Eid Adha was filled by spending time driving 3 days consecutively. Any interesting details will be updated soon ;)

For now, 3RD SEM EXAM!!!

Congratulation to Merseyside Red for the 2-nil win against the Merseyside Blue! No commentary on this one, missed the game thanks to the coming exam for biology prep.

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Pro Evolution Soccer 2010, in no doubt. Friggin Superduperly Awesome.
Having all the player in their recent clubs position, it's worth playing rather than watching New Moon (pfft, anything is worth doing than that).
Fav team: Liverpool and Manchester City
No offence, The Gunners suck in the game but you guys still rock in real life unlike ........ :)

Oh yea examination, end your torment soon so I can enjoy nice PES playing with my brother and my cousin.

Orgasmic

Pfft! I was planning on writing this on Sunday but couldn't steal the right time. My Business IA have to be improved (there's no issue in my business commentary) so I figure that I'll write a match commentary instead!

Before that, A bar of MARS a day helps you work, rest and play! :)

A hard day could be so reviving with the presence of MARS. It was so orgasmic. (It had been a while sinced Koperasi actually sells MARS.

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It was obvious that Rafa shaked absolutely inside. The Spaniard may also had some shots before he stepped on the field as his appereance could lead us to such assumption. The rosy cheeks are more to pitchfork red this time as his career is clinging on a few more matches including this match against Manchester City. The walking dead, indeed.

The lead goal looks promising as The Kop thought they could retain the goal by playing defensive. Yet, they were absolutely wrong. Skrtel had to tried twice of his header ability (provided that he is bald) to actually obtained a goal. The first piece taking was taken by Gerrard, accurately falls in Skrtel's area but he then failed to deliver a nice header as a starting goal. However, a few minutes later, dejavu strikes as the piece taking was then again taken by Gerrard, with the same accuracy falls into Skrtel's possession which he then delivered a great header having the ball sharply strike the ground and bounce back making Given a foolish goalkeeper trying to reach for nothing but air. Skrtel secure a lead for Liverpool and having the role of marking Adebayor, the speedy Man City player.

Not just Skrtel whom had his chance. The Merseysider captain, Gerrard a couple of chances which he misses the target by a few inches or centimetres, perhaps. Two longshots (typical Gerrard style) was saved by Given. All and all, Gerrard performed uberly well that day. Way to go, captain!

The exuberant moment of leading ends with a copycat goal from Mark Hughes' men. A corner, taken by Bellamy, made its way through to Adebayor having him the perfect chance for a header. Dummied, Reina failed to have a catch. Adebayor was obviously marked by two men, knowing his potential. Skrtel and Carragher took the role but then during the corner, Carragher was off to mark another player leaving Skrtel behind only with Adebayor. Ironically, it was Skrtel whom scored the goal and it was him whom failed to defend the ball from Adebayor during the piece-taking. Camera focused on him showing his enmity towards Adebayor's action.

1-all on the board giving Liverpool the pressure because their expectation was lifted high due to the team ability of playing well as the home team. Having the privilaged, The Kops' hope was crushed by a sudden strike by Ireland on the 85th minute. the fans were dissapointed nailed to the Anfield's chairs. Contrast to the fans, Liverpool players striked back with a sudden counter having Benayoun to slide his lovely left leg for an equalizer! There it was 2-all!

One of the most-talk-about-events of the match was the hex of injuries upon the Liverpool players. Torres, the key player was out for a groin injuries and so as the one whom always play on the side, Johnson. During the match itself, Liverpool fans had to watch their defender Agger being stretchered for a concussion for five stitches in the head. The misfortunate player was then substituted with the Greece captain, Kyrgiakos. Babel then too suffered from an ankle injury during the match by an accident of a teammate. Babel was then subbed with Yossi Benayoun.

The game keeps on getting interesting with bookings for Lucas, and Mascherano Italian act. Other than that, there was a last minute ambitious try by Bellamy. The last subbed was done, Benayoun out and Aurelio in for a free kick but wasted. The ball then goes for a corner, with Gerrard having to be the piece taker. Another corner! Aurelio took it but the 4 minute man failed to uplift his name. The game ended right after the last corner. Just like the MARS, it was orgasmic ;)

A tie is never a satisfaction for Liverpool having to play on their own ground. Rafa immediately made a public statement that they can finish as top four at least for the league. Well Rafa, you better be or Manchini might be sitting there at your place eating his chewing gum.

You'll Never Walk Alone!

It's not a ghost it's a pervert.

So another ugly weekend in the college. Down with a flu and depressed as sun of a gun.

Spent the Friday night watching Push, a movie (the only cast that I know is Dakota Fanning),
rumors states that the movie effects were made by Malaysian by our very own film industry company, Grand Brilliance. As impossible as it may seemed I checked and Grand Brilliance was credited. At first I thought the Malaysians purposely claimed theirs as thats what Malaysians always do. Pfft.

So I slept afterwards hoping to dream that I could possess telekinetics power to move things around by my own will and to make out with a half-dying-drug-addict-looking-chick whom can control my mind.. Not.

ZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZz

I felt a jolt and I woke up. Crap. I swear it was so disturbing. I check on the time and it was 4:++ a.m. as I remember. I cant barely breathe. This is not a methaphor shit as I really cant breathe. Asthma attack. Then I remember I left the inhaler in my room upstairs. With the will that I have, (I dont wanna die yet as I have not repent for my wrong doings. Oh God, forgive me for I have sinned each and every day), so I brought myself upstairs and I saw something peculiar at the Lorong Mida' (figure out yourself where Lorong Mida' is. DUH).

I swear to God I do not make this shit up but I did saw it with my own naked eyes. A guy was running from Lorong Mida' with white blanket on. I saw him and he saw me. He then tried to run away by making himself camouflaged near Abang Man's house but my view were just to wide I can still see him or maybe he is just a dumb ass as white does not camouflage with the dark, dumbo. Then he decided to ran down towards the block and reached behind the B block. I saw the guy wearing a t and a shorts covered with a white blanket.

I figure, he must had been back from the F block or he had just make out with some girl at Lorong Mida' or perhaps he had make out with a banshee (well, you know these modern days). Correct me if im wrong as is there any more possibilities why a guy ran his way from being recognized? I could had chase him and made him scat in his pants but I choosed not to.

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"wey, maybe dia hantu kot".

"bukan bodoh. orang, aku nampak kot".

"maybe dia hantu and dia takut kau sebab dia ingat kau takot dia".

"hantu tak takot aku, Naim".

I dedicate this to you

I can hear her heart beat for a thousand miles
And the heavens open every time she smiles
And when I come to her, that's where I belong
I'm running to her like a river's song

She give me love, love, love, love, crazy love

She's got a fine sense of humor when I'm feeling low down
And when I come to her when the sun goes down
Take away my trouble, take away my grief
Take away my heartache in the night like a thief

Yes, I need her in the daytime
Yes, I need her in the night

And when I'm returning from so far away
She gives me some sweet lovin' brighten up my day
It'll make me feel righteous, make me feel whole
Make me feel mellow down into my soul.

This is for you, Mama :).
Thank God the operation went well.

Get well soon!
Your son misses you :)

Slit my wrist

I feel like Wikus turning into a fucking prawns.

I am in a red hot pot of stew. it's 3 a.m. and I still have Biology and Math tutorials to go. Not to mention, 2 lab reports. Oh, Malay presentation and all of em are due by tomorrow.



I'm an ass for procrastinating. What kills me the most is that things just started to get right and now it fell apart. I could not have at least a day to be happy? Cut me some slack.



AndwhyisthefuckingMAXISBroadbandkeepsonconvertingintoCELCOMBroadband????????!!!!!!! May I at least online in peace?



I'm not getting enough sleep and tomorrow is monday. Yes, I'm gonna be a bitch tomorrow, so beware!



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2 days to go for my placement interview. Shit that reminds me I hafta prepare 3 prepared essays and make research on the interview and for the test on that day. That just also remind me that my interview might fall on the same day or perhaps the same time as my Malay IOC!!!



If I'd die tonight, I just wanna say I love all of you. I love every bit of you guys and thanks a million for being there for me. I apologise for my wrong doings toward you.



Ditto if I'd die tomorrow. Please call the police if either one of my Biology or Math teacher is trying to kill me tomorrow. Especially to my fellow classmates. If you don't I swear I'll haunt you for the rest of my after-life.



Oh and did United won? or Chelsea? (Malay IOC: Gaya bahasa sindiran, 'sarkasme'.)



Forgive me God for I have sinned. Oh how I wish I'm elmo.




MUMMY?? :(

Crazy Love

The more than a month anticipation has finally come to an end! The new Michael Buble album has been obtained. This added as my #6 Michael Buble discography for the past 6 years (I missed the last 2 years Christmas EP, Let It Snow. Yet to be found in eBay). Although the songs are mostly aged by time, Michael, together with his team and his mentor David Foster, they freshened them up notwithstanding his ability to sing contemporary songs. Again, Michael Buble is the finest artist I known so far as I've been listening to him for the past 6 years. Having sent to school by my father while listening to Michael Buble and able to sing together because both of us knew the songs as they were the songs that he listened to back then. Great songs to be shared with your love ones.

Credit goes to the person whom contributed 2 Michael Buble discographies into my collection. You've been the greatest and always the best. Thank you. I know better things awaits you in the future. Thank you.

Arson

I understand that being in KMB is so stressed out. I also acknowledge the fact that some people just dont have a life and inadequate entertainment up to a point that they have nothing to do but to poke into others' business.

I pretty much heard of some unpleasant rumors lately. By some I do not mean one or two, but more. I wonder, how does the rumor spread like an arson? Who made the spark? Who catalysted it?

I'm not gonna slip in any euphemisme for this so seriously, lay your fucking finger off my business. You'd be better off studying for the friggin' IB. I know where I stand with my lil ass 29 point but then again, go study and stop gossiping.

Well, its not that I really mind about it but its not that I dont mind about it at all. One or two could still make me sit back, watch and grit my teeth but its just too much.

I know this may sound like I'm being paranoid but my ears burn when I heard unpleasant things about myself.

So, a reminder, stop fucking gossiping. If you ever had a dog I bet it would rather play catch by itself. You people make me cuss too much :)

A hell week. Liverpool lost badly against Fulham. Can't really blame anyone. Don't blame Rafa, I'm sure he knows what he's doing. Seriously, there's a silver lining on every cloud. I hope they win against Lyon this Wednesday :)

Oh, so I lost 50 bucks and I had to walk all the way from Bukit Bintang to Damai.

Standardized test on Thursday. Math. Shit.

Knew that someone that I have a heart for is having her heart for someone else. Ouch.

Lost my fucking guitar. The only one I have. Seriously I want it back.

OH, WHO DID THE ARSON OF B122? Literally an arson of the mattress B122

I officially hate listening to Secondhand Serenade.

Disturbed

Thanks to a few of my friends I just got myself a 'dream cocktail' today. A mixed of everything nice and not. Gaaaahhh...

The dream was set at night. I was on a rooftop with a few fellow friends. So they were talking and all. Then a friend of mine (he-must-not-be-named) was juggling 3 oranges. For a reason I could laugh and pee in my pants at the same time. Then I was heading down when out of sudden there were tents. Pitchfork red coloured tents randomly on the ground. So I went inside one of it. It was quite dark as the only light presence is the shine from the moon. So I went and lay myself down in one of the tent. Out of all sudden a shadow was seen outside the tent. Then the tent was unzipped (whoa! dont get the wrong idea YET), and another friend of mine, well a colleague is more appropriate rather than a friend as I don't know her much, pops her head in (she-must-not-be-name). Honestly I remembered that I was not wearing decent clothing at that time so I blushly covered myself when she pops her head in. Then the magic happens, oh, I don't wanna get into the details but i remember the most when she twisted her hair on her finger. I swear I did not make this shit up but it was so fucking disturbing. Why? Some random colleague pops in my dream and hitting on me sexually, yes it is very much disturbing. The worst part is that I felt it. Then before things get too much, I woke up. Thank God :)

Post mortem:

So, the dream is a cocktail mixed of some occurences during the weekends.

The rooftop was a place that I spend time during the weekend.

The orange juggler is a friend of mine who really likes fresh orange who happens to be drinking too much of fresh orange during our hang out :).

The tents was because before I went to sleep, a friend of mine was telling me that a chick offered him some tents. Random.

The pitchfork red colour most probably because I wore red for the whole day from class to the library at night to celebrate the winning of The Kop.

The moonlight is because the study carol was on and it was right in front of my face when I was sleeping.

She-who-must-not-be-name is a colleague who I happened to walk behind her a day ago. No, I'm not a pervert and I don't have a crush or anything towards her (cause we barely even talk) but it wasnt planned, I swear to God.

The finger hair twisting took place during a memorable night. And a part of Hands Down lyric that I happened to be listening before I sleep.

And the disturbing part of the dream is because a day ago, a friend of mine was so curious on how men experienced sexually-like dream so I had to explained it to her as she was having somewhat of the same disturbing dream except that it is less obscene.

Must listen: The Blower's Daughter by Damien Rice

Must watch: Closer

Watch Star Wars saga with me and I'll marry you :)

No, I am not contented with what I have and no, no, no, I did not get what I want.

So, things just fall apart. Weekends are obviously never the same again. No going back home for 2 months. Prohibited to go out. Well, it's gonna be the same shit next sem.

It's all about the goddam priorities. Well, I believe that having too many priorities just make none priority.

There are nothing much to post blog about lately as its the same shit everyday in college. Stuck in emotional turmoil I am finding my way out. Well, I'm not gonna mention any hardships that I'm facing or anything because its just pathetic.

What I know is that I missed those days.

No, I don't. Then again, I do.

Hands down, why would I be bothered of doing something that I'm never good at anyway?
Might as well concentrate on something that I'm good at which is yet to be found.

I've been nothing but a wheenie whiner.

Then something stroke me. I remembered being beside the deathbed of my grandfather. I thought of what he might be thinking. I'm sure if I were in his shoes I would be regreting of what I've done and what I should have done.

So, carpe diem quam minimum credula prostero :)

Then again, I can't do it. Fuck. Good luck, Manul.

Must listen: Kasabian - Underdog.

Beautiful Day

I do wonder, when will I get back on my feet? Am I being hexed?

So there were;

You got scolded by your Biology teacher in class for scoring lowest in class for Bio test with a mark of 4/36 and 5/17. Not to forget, for involving in the incident of going to the washroom when she entered the class which pretty much pissed her off.

You get all emotional and unable to be professional during a debate entitled "Social Networking Have Improved Communication". You stuttered and you're being abscent minded. You get a remark that you unlikely want to hear. Oh and you gave the guest a terrible perception about yourself.

You've just realised that you've been living in denial all this while that some things are just too late to handle.

You bump into some people that you wish you won't bump into.

And you just knew that you MIGHT not be able to pursue your study for any Med School in UK, Ireland, New Zealand and Australia as your name is not on any of the list.

You knew you only have one option left which is Czech Rep. but then you really feel that you're friggin sure you won't be going there as your name might again not be in the list and that your dad really discourage you to go to Czech Rep. and that you have to learn their language to study there, no offence.

What suprised you is, all of these events happened in a day like today.

I wonder what awaits me tomorrow. Do cut me some slack, I am begging here.

I still haven't found what I'm looking for.

So the Malay A1 test is over. I managed to get it done half an hour earlier and pay the sleeping debt of last night. I did not have a nice sleep last night as I did not sleep at all. GAAAHHH!
So while everyone is struggling doing their Malay test, I took my way to the dreamland.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I remember I was wearing a yellow crocs (which I only own the red one). So there was a bunch of kids. Oh, as I recall it looks like Sunway Lagoon. So i accidently kicked my crocs down the slide where the kids then threw it further down somekinda ledge. So I suicidely jumped to get my crocs and end up in a pool full of phony grownups. I managed to get only one side of my crocs whereas the other is still missing. Then I managed to climb up a slide from the pool. As I was at the peak, someone that I don't wanna meet is there. Crap. So we were forced to be in the same cart to go down the slide from the peak. We refused to talk to each other and I am very very contented that way :)

"Okay, masa dah tamat!".
So I woke up.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I should go to sleep now. I thought of some dorky idea. I wish I could spend hours watching Star Wars Saga back to back with someone. Anyone up to it? Perhaps that could put a smile on my face :).

Underdog

Emotion turmoil. My neurons stop sending impulses especially to the brain. Everything seems to be moving faster, lately or perhaps I am the one that ain't moving at all.

Time is what I need and time is what I don't have. I don't know how to feel. I don't know what to feel.

Gosh, this is so pessimist. Give me a reason to smile..

Teenage Dirtbag

A few minutes get-away from Extended Essay. I was listening to my playlist when this song came up;

"I got two tickets to Iron Maiden baby,
come with me Friday don't say maybe,
I'm just a teenage dirtbag baby, like you".

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Then my mind started flashing into the past when the movie 'Loser' came out. It was one of the best movie I had ever watched. I remember it was the year 2000. Back then I was 10 years old if I'm not mistaken. I don't know, you do the calculation. I'm no good in math.
So it was about a guy liking a girl (I know it sounds cliche but believe me, it is not). I can't really recall the whole thing. Oh my, I wish I could watch it all again. I tried downloading it on Torrent but it failed.

Then I remember another one movie that I wish I could watch again. 'Deadman on Campus' (1998). Gosh, the movie was great. I like Cliff in particular. It's about a bunch of college students trying to make their way to graduate by having to kill a roomate for some privilage. Damn, I can't even recall that too.

Then there was this movie called 'Roadtrip' (2000). Starring the kid in Simple Plan's music video I'm Just A Kid. It's Roadtrip not Eurotrip. Eurotrip sucks like hell. It's like a softporn somesort.

I wish I could spend the weekend watching these 3 movies. Get me these movies and I'll marry you :). Seriously. or perhaps reward you with catfoods.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

These movies reminds me of the times when I'm facing identity crisis during my teenage years. I'm sure we all faced that. Not knowing who we should grow up into, not knowing what clothes should we wear, what style should we obey to or perhaps what kind of music we should like. Whereas the teenagers nowadays grow up with movies such as High School Musical, Hannah Montana and so on. No offence, but it seems less immature than what we, and by we I mean the 89s to the 91s, adopt during our identity crisis.

I remember wearing horrible over-sized clothes. I remember walking around with a bulky Sony Walkman in my pocket. Then comes the Discman. Hitting puberty, trying to look cool and popping pimples. I remember going through the phases.

However, what I find lovely is that the identity crisis means the world to me back then. The feeling of affiliated to a certain society means everything. That is like the biggest problem that we all have to face during that time. There was nothing much more than that.

But the time is over. Now all that we worry about is our Extended Essays, our Business and Economics IAs, our Pure Mathematics, all the assignments that you and I could ever imagine. Those mean the world to us now. Nothing else matter.

Well, I'd better get back to EE.

Googling

6 people that I find worth Googling:

1. John Stith Pemberton
2. William Bill Shankly
3. Frank Lucas
4. J. D. Salinger
5. Saloth Sar (Pol Pot)
6. Wladziu Valentino Liberace

Google these guys. Try it. It won't bite :)

Three Cheers for Benayoun

4 Liverpool - Burnley 0

Liverpool against Burnley uplifted Liverpool to a quite more comfortable level. The game was fantastic and full of drama. Started with an easy play when Burnley ambitiously tried during the start of the game (the only good try by them :p). The game becomes more dramatic as the Israelis Benayoun put in his gears for winning the game!

The first goal was a good one as Benayoun dribble along the defenders and strike it in pilfering hopes from Burnley :)

The second goal was rather unplanned. A try which deflected from the keeper into Kuyt's oppurtunity as he was there at the right time.

The third goal was a brilliant triple-tech! The strategic goal for Benayoun with the assistance of Torres and Gerrard.

Then comes the controversial part of the game. Gerrard took a free kick in a well manner which lead to Benayoun's ambitious hatrick. However, the linesman call it an offside.

Then when the pace was going faster, Benayoun comes with his hatrick. The Israeli nailed it well at a crucial time of the game which landed liverpool in a win of a great goal difference.

Benitez seems to be pretty well organized as the subs were done wonderfully. All was done during the second half. Degen was in for Johnson's place. Voronin was then substituted in, taking over Kuyt's place and the last sub was Torres for the freshleg, Ngog.

The Brazillian Lucas defended pretty well today giving Burnley a hard time trying. Not to forget, Johnson tried as what Xabi Alonso could have done or as what he himself had done at the Reebok Stadium against The Wanderers, to strike at a very unpredictable range. What awked me is typical Gerrard's next to poll score was saved beautifully by the keeper. Nevertheless, all of his piece-taking was wonderful.

Liverpool played well and they had learned their lesson. The 31 streak winning home game was broke by the Villas and no other team could ever bring them down again in Anfield because This Is Anfield :)

Fans, You'll Never Walk Alone.

Radioheadandshoulderkneesandtoes

The reason why people should listen to Radiohead is that they have a variation type of acoustic. From something light to something intermediately heavy.

Artist: Radiohead

Album: The Bends

Two jumps in a week
I bet you think that's pretty clever don't you boy?
Flying on your motorcycle,
Watching all the ground beneath you drop
You'd kill yourself for recognition,
Kill yourself to never ever stop
You broke another mirror,
You're turning into something you are not

Don't leave me high, don't leave me dry
Don't leave me high, don't leave me dry

Drying up in conversation,
You will be the one who cannot talk
All your insides fall to pieces,
You just sit there wishing you could still make love
They're the ones who'll hate you
When you think you've got the world all sussed out
They're the ones who'll spit at you,
You will be the one screaming out

Don't leave me high, don't leave me dry
Don't leave me high, don't leave me dry

It's the best thing that you ever had,
The best thing that you ever, ever had
It's the best thing that you ever had,
The best thing you ever had has gone away

Chasing Pavement

"Should I give up, or should I just keep chasing pavement even if it leads no where?".

I gave up hoping on hopes. I was dissapointed millions of time before but I was insisted to give it another shot. So I hope. I did. Then I overdo it, I hope higher and it kept on getting higher. Then dissapointment made it's room in again.

Everyone got what they wanted or at least they have something. I knew I should have made my decision wisely. They said aim for the stars and you fall on the moon, it's all bullcrap. I'm falling way down than that. I knew I should have realise on where I stand. Who I am. What I'm capable of. I took it for granted. Now I know where I stand, who I am and what I'm never capable of. This is not what I had in mind when I first step my foot in this college. Things just went haywired.

I know I can't blame anyone but myself in this. How selfish of me to think this is someone elses doings. It's your own fault, Manul. It's your own fault. You could have fix everything up but you took it for granted. I'm back in square one. I've been in this situation and I made my way out but this is different. I'm out of options.

Kudos guys. You're bounded to UK, to Ireland and carry on with what I always wanted to. Again, it's my own fault and ain't it a bit too late too realise that?

It's a future matter. I had it, I had it all planned but I didn't put the pieces. No matter how much I regret it, it won't change anything much. I failed myself.

Signs

I remember having a conversation with my dad a long time ago:

"Man minat antique car tak?"

"Best. Yang vintage lagi cool"

"Macam mana? Mini ke, VW ke, Benz lama?"

"Ntah. Mane2 je. Ada 4 tires and ada steering. Cukuplah"

"Ele, aircond tade tak tahan"

...

"Papa belikan Man satu nanti bila Man da ada license. Pak Teh ada Benz lama dia nak jual. Cik Ani pon ada Mini".

"Seriously??"

"Ha ah. Tapi kena la ada license dulu"

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From that on, I knew my dad promised such a price because he knew I can never ace my driving test. And so I didn't. I passed the computer test, kill me if i don't; I pass the parking, slope and 3 pointer; but I failed my on the road test TWICE. Apparently, either I was too stupid or the JPJ officers just ain't doing their job or perhaps my driving school hasn't pay the duit kopi yet.

So a year passed I didn't bother to retook after failed TWICE. I become a daredevil started to drive cars and dare myself to a limit and drove 170km/h.

So, i decided to retook the test and I had to the the slopeshit thingy all over again just because the test I took had expired. Baring with the failure in the past, I took it. Lucky me the JPJ officers fell asleep of my decent driving. I swear to God if he ever failed me, I'll cut his balls off and serve them to his family, rape his wife and kill the whole family.

So, knowing I have such intention, he passed me. *woot*woot*

Having the authority to legally drive on the road, my dad congratulates me and wishes me to drive him for any errands, except that he is in Terengganu. I'm so gonna drive his S40 at about 200km/h on the Maju Expressway or die trying.

I want my antique now. No compromise.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

HAPPY MERDEKA!

"NEGARAKU, NEGARAKU-KU

NEGARAKU, NEGARA-KU-KU"

Namewee

im so gonna be bust by ISA.

Lack of Colour

It just occured to me of questioning myself, "what have I been doing for the past 19 years?".

Due to some event, I realised on how the people around me are satisfied with the life that they are having now whereas I am left perplexed.

I saw how my friends grew. The people that I was around with in about perhaps years ago. It felt like yesterday when you know something and today everything just change.

Perhaps my mind works in a way of dominance erratic instability. There are just times when you are not assured of what you want. Options should not be an option.

I like my life but there are some things missing. I want to be a part of something. I want to be a part of everything, how greedy of me. I have been doing mistakes and there are just some that can't be fixed nor to be make it up to. The clock can't be reset and the pendulum swings.

I put my music to shuffle and I can't stop at any one. All of them seems to be wrong.

What kind of crisis am I dealing with now? I am discourage, there's a lack of colour here.

Manul emodumbshit.

P/S

Regarding the previous post:

I don't smoke nor watch porn. Seriously.

Seriously.

Well, not that I haven't but i don't prefer to.

Seriously.

No kidding.

Wreck of the Day

Ramadhan's here. Cool. It's fasting time. I'm looking it at the bright side. It's like a losing weight program that last for a month. Ain't that bad. I think.

Well, there are quite some things that I have to lay off like:

1. The goodie-o 'naroo', our lingo of cigarettes.
2. Porn.
3. Porn.
4. Picking nose. It might be a myth though. It's not wrong to pick nose.
5. Oh, food and drinks.
6. Porn.

That should be it I think but hey! it's okay during the nights. muahahahaha.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The first day tells it all. Im in bentong (you dont even know where that is!), woke up late trying to get done with Business IA, I thought of going to the CC to check on my facebook, farmville actually, i suck but im still playing.

So my sis, her bf and I went out. I drove confidently till my sis told me that she drove the car yesterday with fuel warning. Fuck. Fuck. Out of all sudden I felt the car 'jingle'. It was so obvious as the jingle transfered up to my balls. It does literally felt jinglish.

From nice and sensual jingling, the car started to stuttered like Wo Fei Hong and -

The enjine was off. Kapoosh. We thought it ran out of fuel so we went to fill up a 5litres mineral bottle with fuel. Coincidencely, I manage to drove it just a few metres away from the petrol station :D.

So we filled up the tank. There were still a problem. Dumbshit, the engine started but it can't , maintain itself.

Coincidencely, there was a workshop next to the petrol station. I know there were lots of coincidence happening but this is not a lie. It happened. For real.

So we went to the workshop and the it was own by an old man and he took the car for repairing. Sadly, my uncle passed by and we were caught in the act so my grandma call the old guy who happens to be the mechanics that we looked for earlier.

So the car is in repair and I walked to the Cyber Cafe to get internet access and here I am writing the post.

Happy Ramadhan :)

Loser

I do not have facebook. They call me a loser =(

39.90

I got this for 39.90 bucks.

Another part of my collection on Michael Buble's discographies. Been collecting since I was 13. Michael's the best! A major inspiration in my music interest.

MTV World Stage Live in Malaysia

I can't believe I'm posting this but Manul is HAPPY :)

Not that he's not happy before but he's extra happy now. He's happy before as he comes with a big 'package'. Yes, I have a big package.

Oh, my supercool hun got us the MTV World Stage Live in Malaysia passes. Rock on! My hun's the best girlfriend ever :). Thanks hun :).

You, me and the music. Well, considered that it's in Sunway I'm imagining we're in wet tees.

i'm turned on.

p/s: syazana, aku dapat passes. jangan buat muka :p

but now he is not that happy because he can't find his dictionary. He left it in his fotress which was infected by either swine leftover or swine flu virus. Mofos. but he is still happy.

That Green Gentlemen

Try listening to Panic! At The Disco for a change. Not a strong shot but it gives a pretty much a creamy after taste. This is That Green Gentlemen. My personal favourite would be Build God, Then We'll Talk. Go ahead, download it illegally like we all do.

Things are shaping up to be pretty odd.
Little deaths in musical beds.
So it seems I’m someone I’ve never met.

You will only hear these elegant crimes,
Fall on your ears from criminal dimes.
They spill unfound from a pretty mouth.

Everybody gets there and everybody gets their, and everybody gets their way.
I never said I missed her when everybody kissed her,
Now I’m the only one to blame.

Things have changed for me, and that’s okay.
I feel the same, I’m on my way, and I say.
Things have changed for me, and that’s okay.

I want to go where everyone goes,
I want to know what everyone knows,
I want to go where everyone feels the same.

I never said I’d leave the city,
I never said I’d leave this town.
A falling out we won’t tiptoe about.

Everybody gets there and everybody gets their, and everybody gets their way.
I never said I missed her when everybody kissed her,
Now I’m the only one to blame.

Peace

I can't believe that a fight could be resolved just because one side got turned on. How I wish wars could end that way.

Sugar free

Just when I'm so clueless, my mom came to a rescue by:

giving me a sugar free Chupa Chups. She added, "tak buat tooth decay".

And so I tried, it tasted like shit.

Back to written task.. I need ideas.

Period.

I just need something..

Something to start with..

My nuts are shrinking

Yes, as refered to above my nuts are shrinking due to a 5 hours road trip back home. Not because of some rough sex.

I cant believe I'm saying this but I'm not glad that they have to shut the college up for a week because of the swine flu. I'm not. No I'm not kidding. I'm not glad.

They have to postponed ladies night. Well, not that I'm involve during the night but HEY IT'S PERSONAL. People went through a lot to make it a success and now they have to postponed it. Thanks to the swine flu. Terima kasih babi anda memang babi.

Apart from that, it's a week without class. Am I smart enough for that? Who's going to teach me? And the first thing when the college re-opens back, there's gonna be a motherfucking MOCK Interview. FYI, I'm not prepared.

But then again I owe the pigs for helping out complicating the virus into something that is really threatening. This dejavu of 1940 is not that bad. I know it's pretty much a bold statement but I do like the idea of H1N1. Why? Simply because,

NO FUCKING ACADEMIC DAY AND MY FATE HAS CHANGE THAT I WON'T HANG MYSELF NOR SLIT MY WRIST.

no academic day. terbaik.

iThink

I think I'll go to ------...

I think I'll start a new life,

I think I'll start it over, where no one knows my name,

I'll get out of California,

I'm tired of the weather..

I think I'll go to ------,

I think that I'm just tired

I think I need a new town, to leave this all behind...

I think I need a sunrise, I'm tired of the sunset,

I hear it's nice in the Summer, some snow would be nice...

Boston by Augustana

Harvest

Sometimes it bothers you that you can't find the right words to really hit on what you feel.

I do think a world would be a better place if humans are free from misunderstanding. Not just that, humans should also speak in the same way regardless on what they perceive. They may speak in a different language but the message should be in the same form. A standardize form that every single human being could understand. By that, there won't be any communication breakdown. There won't be misunderstanding.

Sometimes I just wish I could understand others more. Sometimes I just wish I could give others what they ought to have. Sometimes I just wish I could provide others with the best. Sometimes I just wish that I'm doing something the right way.

Sometimes I wish I could have what I want. Sometimes I wish I shouldn't have what I want. Sometimes I wish I shouldn't have what I had. Sometimes I wish I could just not have the feeling of wanting something to have. We live in a beautiful but yet strange world. The world revolves around none accept time.

There are times when you wonder how you can carry everything on your shoulder. The time when you feel so jaded and weary. The time where you think you just can't make it. When you just don't feel anything bad about yourself because you are slowly accepting that you're just non-worthy.

It's not about giving up. It's about walking at the same place of the same pace.

I wish I could. If I could I would. I need to change.

Shooting stars..

I close my eyes and "I wish for...

1. A biological symbiote that blend together with my blood and causes me to possess a blood-like physical body. Immune to probably anything (especially H1N1).
2. An amnesia.
3. A brand new brain that could work my way and others' at the same time; govern independently from emotion.
4. A day without worry.
5. Confidence. Period.

Human skin can be hard to live in, you'll feel better in the morning..

....

Who am I kidding? I'm a fucking pessimist..

Erth, Wnd, Wter and Fre.

So tell me, how can we work it out on that day when we it's time to share the gold at the end of the rainbow? I know it's not something for us to think of..

I am losing track on which way is up simply because I'm always being put down. Nay, I know I gotta be strong and do what I feel in my heart regardless of who's around. I know it might seem bold but I think that's all I have. Many centuries people are steady getting old clutchin' to what they never had.

I know I can but I know I can't. Well, you can you cunt!

Oh and Madam S,
I'm a man of my conviction, call me wrong or call me right,
But I'll bring my better angel to every fight,
You may not like where I'm going and you do know where I stand,
Hate me if you want to,
Love me if you must.

I'm doing it not as a prove to you nor anybody. I'm doing this for myself. I took their best punch.

Scratch

Sometimes i wonder will i make it thru?

The 2nd sem is done and people are now off with their options. I wonder what's left for me..

My gateway of going to my wonderland has closed. Tata. Shut-locked forever.
I know some of the people that wanted to pursue what I had been hoping succeed. Kudos to you all. It feels like a million bucks ain't it? You worked endlessly regardless what stands in front of you. I do admire your effort, mates. I have seen some of you putting in your best shot in every single second. I have seen some of you loop of from danger zone into a secure zone. I have seen the bounced back ability. I have seen them all. You chew it in, you spit it out and you're now in a safe zone. It's beautiful, really.

It hurts you inside. It does. Well, you can never really blame anyone or anything but yourself. I made mistake. Mistakes, to be exact and I don't dare to say that I never repeat them ever again. I am in a total wrecked now. A lot to catch up. A lot to give. A lot to sacrifice. A price to pay.

I bet you all get where you wanna be at. I'll sit here and smile congratulating at your success. As for me, it remains uncertain. I know you don't see that potential in me simply because it's just not there. It never exist or it's dead. Either.

We'll meet again one day. We talked, smiled, laughed, stare, lift our eyebrows, cried, touched, fight, kicked, played, sang, hum, whistled, jump together. It will remain as memories. So beautiful and yet maybe to painful to remember. We'll meet again one day and share stories. The lines across our face tells us stories of where we've been to where we are but not me. I simply choose to forget. I wanna start from scratch. My hope is scattered into pieces. I got nothing to tell you. None.

So get on. Get on with your perfect life. You are blessed =).

29

29

29 million bucks,

29 hot females,

29 cool rides,

29 LV's handbags,

29 blow jobs,

29 hot shemales,

29 scoops of Baskin' Robbin,

29 Tag Heures,

29 storey-banglow,

29 girlfriends,

29 profit-making companies,

29 thousand of fans,

29 best selling books..

29 of these sounds pleasant ain't it?

It's not when you're IB point is 29.

to hell with 29

may you burn in hell.

29

Pancake

Like a little school mate in the school yard,

we play Jackson and Uno Cards,

I'll be your best friend and you'll be my valentine,

yes, you can hold my hand if you want to,

'cause im gonna hold yours soon,

we'll be playmates and lovers and share our secret world..

but it's time for me to go home,

it's getting late and dark outside..

FUCK YOU

It's not a fashion statement, it's a fucking deathwish.

I decided to get my ass back early a day at the college. Well, not my decision, though. I didn’t make the call. My dad did. My dad works on Sunday. Now I’m a day earlier. But hey! It ain’t that bad. Maybe I kinda need the extra time to straighten myself out.


It’s fucked up. I swear I do not make this shit up but it feels fucked up. No offence. It’s not you guys (KMBians). It’s just the place. AND. And I do not just blame the busy life of IB for it. Everything. Everything. I’m blaming every little thing that I screwed up. Well, perhaps anyone who screwed it up for me too.


A day earlier. It feels kinda nice, though. Alone in the block. I can do the naked itsy bitsy thingy. You know, running around without a single thread. Hey! It’s a free college! (Yeah, free, alright………………..


Anyhow, things that I should get excited for this sem is..
Ma cherie’s in the same college. I’ll be seeing her =D. Well, not that I have not been seeing her for long =p.

Other than that.. Herm.. Lemme see…








2nd Sem’s result? Oh no. Not excited. Fuck..



EE? Thank God I am able to do literature.










IAs…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..






Interviews. MOCK or whatever-youcallit.




………………………………………………………….Motherfucker…………………………………………………………………….


I’m a self-loather..








Oh yeah, Revenge Of The Fallen!?
Shit, that doesn’t count does it?
Herm..


OHANDDONTGETTOOOOOEXCITEDTHATYOUGOTINKMB.DONTGOALLFUCKING-WEE-IGOTINKMBHOWISITTHERE?SERIOUSLY,JUNIORS.
Because it’s



HIT









Typo. Sorry.

SHIT.

Come to think about it, I don’t hate this place. Well, I don’t. But there’s just something about it that really hurting me in the crotch.

You’re gonna be okay, Manul.

Whosoever mess with me, I’ll cut your balls, mash ‘em, boil ‘em, fry ‘em and feed ‘em to the lazy fatso guard who owes people lotsa money. He also claims that he saw 'pocong'. Pocong my ass.

Oh and please stop listening to Jonas Brothers. It makes our generation viewed as fags. Seriously. You’re better well listening to Elton John or George Michael. Well, Elton John’s kinda nice. Fuckyou I’m straight.

Cheerios.

Rest In Peace

Date: 2nd June 2009
Day: Badday
Time: 16:54:32
Location: Pantai Ma' Daerah

A great friend. A comrade. Always there when I'm down. Never fails to put me back on my feet. A sound from her could make me feel as happy as a bumbleebee. My eyes when I couldn't see, my light in the dark.

Songs that make you slit your wrist, songs that make you cry, songs that make you smile all night long, songs that make you believe, songs that make you seize the time, songs that make you who you are, songs that change everything the way they are..

But no force could change of what had happen. I'm gonna miss you, buddy..

It doesn't have to end this way but fate pilfered you away from my life..

Leaving me weary..

Jaded..

I'm gonna miss you..

Thank you..

I love you, iPod.

May your soul be among those whom are blessed.
Rest in peace. I love you.

Manul's iPod Nano died of drowning in the sea of salty water.

Fuck iTunes

2 days and 1 night of away from home to The Turtle's Sanctuary. Gotta release the baby turtle to the sea. Hoorah I am not excited.

My only survival is my Nokia and my iPod. That is 2 days without PES. 2 days of socializing with my classmates. No offence, i love you guys. Seriously. I just hope there'll be good-o-coverage there. I need to text and call ma cherie.

Fuck my iTunes isn't working and I need to put em song!

FUCKiTUNESFUCKiTUESFUCKiTUNESFUCKiTUNESFUCKiTUNESFUCKiTUNESFUCKiTUNESFUCKiTUNES

Oh, does anyone have the slightest idea where can I get Dashboard Confessional's album, The Shade Of Poison Trees? I've been looking for it, everywhere but i failed to find any. Please let me know. You'll be awarded. You will. No kidding. I swear. Screw you.

Jonas Brothers

This is a latest discovery. A new breakthrough! Hands down, it has been approved by several research and experiments. The Faculty of Human Science in several universities had conducted a very detailed research and experiments on this issue.

This is what exactly your brain will look like after listening to JONAS BROTHERS:

No offence, jeebs.

FAGS

I wanna have your babies

You fuck, you'll get babies, you'll get babies and you'll get no dough.

Seriously, having a baby can be pretty much messed up. I've seen it with my own eyes. Haven't experience it, though.

I just turned into an uncle 2 weeks ago. My sister-in-law, which is obviously married to my brother, just gave birth to a baby boy. Ahmad Arsyad is the name. They're working parents so they have extra dough for living. I did ask a couple of questions on how to manage the finance when having a baby.

Seriously, it cuts a fucking big hole in your pocket. RM 2500 just for the baby's labour. Some hundreds more for the hospital accomodation (private specialist). About RM 1000 for the baby's bed, walker stuff and all. RM 95 for an anti-colic bottle set so that breast milk can be stored innit. Well, the baby needs around 3 of em because you can never get the time to wash them for the next meal time, so total up to RM 285 for bottles. A few bucks for tate. RM 55 a week for milk. Specially formulated. Diapers! They are very very costly. The baby's tub, toileterries and etc would cost a lot too. Toys. Teeters. Tate. Rusk.

Forgive me if i sound shallow but all they can do at the time is to cry and poop. It takes hell lotsa guts to take care of a baby. A very very very large proportion of patience too. My brother's gonna kill me if he reads this.

Well, I'm conveying this to those youngsters out there who can't keep their dicks and vijayjays in their pants. Even if you have sex with condoms, there is a slight 10% the method won't be helpful. So if you did it 20 times there is a possibility that 2 times that you had sex could cost you a baby. And if those 2 times hit the jackpot (when your bang-partner is fertile), here comes your baby. The probability in average of you hitting the jackpot in a month is about 1 over 15. Do it for 15 months, you might get one too.

Fuck, I'm applying math.

Morale of the story. Think before you bang. Seriously.

Operation Theater OT

2 days of CAS at Sg. Buloh Hospital. Organized entirely by ma cherie Dayana, we managed to get a close view of real life medical operations!

We were given special sterile clothes to wear and rubber footwear that looks like crocs but its uncomfortable like hell. There were no XS size for the blue scrub (fyi, Scrubs are the shirts and trousers or gowns worn by nurses, surgeons, and other operating room personnel when "scrubbing in" for surgery). So i took L. Damn it was big.

So there were 4 Operation Theaters (OTs) that we are free to enter anytime. We, ma cherie Dayana, Lyn, Bada, S and I, observed a few operations which includes skin to skin Caesarian, Masectomy for Breat Cancer, Appendix, Orthopedic etc.

We observed literally a metre away from the operation.
Hell, some looks gruesome like this guy where his hands were 'open' until you can see the bone. Or a guy's thights were sliced up. Or a women's boobs were taken out, seperate literally from her body. Or women's tummy being cut out to bring out a new born baby.

It was helluva experience. I doubt you'll get such experience easily. All and all, it was awesome! Oh, and there were this cocky nurse. Hahahaha. The best part of the whole thing is that I managed to experience it with ma cherie Dayana =D. I love her so much =x.

Then, we were off for movies =p

10 bucks

This is a true story. Happened a week ago.
Time: On my way to Personal CAS, Sg. Buloh Hospital.
Location: KL Central.

Fucking crowded LRT. I mind my own business listening to my iPod.
"and then she asked me, ...tuktuk, do i look alright,
and i said yes, ... you look wonderful tonight".

I went out of the LRT. These rushers gets on my nerves. I wonder where they are heading rushing their ways and bump into people. So I went out, a black dude suddenly stand in front of me and he smiled. I unplugged my earphone. I swear I did not make this shit up, he looks fucking exactly like Akon!

Black Guy: Assalamualaikum (offering to shook hands)
Me: Waalaikumusslam
Black Guy: Oh! You're a muslim. (he looks fucking happy). You speak English?
Me: (damn right I do) oh, yes i do (nonchalantly).
Black Guy: My name is Hafiz. My mom's from Africa (and he said something about his dad i cant remember). I'm studying in UiTM Skudaiiii. blah..blah.. Accountancy.
Me: Oh, okay. My name is Luqman.
Hafiz: Oh! Luqman! That is my first name in my hometown Africa, Luqman.
Me: (Err... okay...)
Hafiz: I thought you're a Chinese just now not a muslim..
Me: (i'm not that fair to look like a chinese, dumbo).
Hafiz: But i saw your (then he touches his chin, then i assume he was trying to say beard but he can't reach for the word).
Me: Oh, hehe hehe.
Hafiz: Listen, Luqman. I want to go back to Johor but I don't have the money to buy ticket.
Me: You wanna go by airplane?
Hafiz: Yes but i don't have the money.
Me: Go by bus, it's lotta cheaper.
Hafiz: (then he started to say yes-by bus-around 40-needs money to go to Masjid Jamek-i dont want your money-borrow money-i give you my number, yes he did, i have it until now-blahblahblah)
Me: I can give you 10 bucks the most, dude. I need the money for myself.
Hafiz: Can you make it more like 20? We are muslim. When we help Allah will help us back. Who knows when you're in Johor you call me we go for coffee and huha huha (he did said huha huha). I have a classmate name Luqman. He is very funny. We like to blah blah blah with him blah blah blah.
Me: 10's the most. Sorry dude.
Hafiz: Nevermind nevermind. Thank you.
Me: You do know how to get the bus right? From here? Get the train at Masjid Jamek to Pudu.
Hafiz: Yes, thank you. Thank you. I will pay you back if you want me.
Me: Okay, gotta go.
Hafiz: I'll see you again, Luqman. Thank you.

I think i just got conned.

PES

I see that my holidays are non-productive at all. I did pretty much nothing.
Things that i had accoplished:

1. Personal CAS, Operation Theater, Sg. Buloh Hospital. Okay, this is no shit, its helluva fun (I'll write more later on it in my other post).
2. Personal CAS 'melepaskan anak penyu anjuran Syarah Afiqah bt Yusoff (bukan Yuzari)', to be done tomorrow.
3. Police report on losing my driving test card.
4. Done with Cather In The Rye.
5. Lihatlah Ranjau Sepanjang Hayat (tak ingat nama), aku akan tawan kamu!
6. PES PES PES PES PES PES PES PES PES PES PES PES PES PES PES PES PES
7. Winning Eleven
8. 5 hours fucking bus ride.
9. Angels & Demons; Wolverine and I Love You, Man.
10. DotA

I also realised a couple of things that i ought to do for the holidays but i have not even bother to think about it until this very second:

1. Chemistry Lab Reports (fuck i haven't done that yet)
2. IA for Business and Mangement.
3. watch TV
4. get an x-ray
5. Have sex
6. Movie marathon (I did PES marathon though for 10 hours++ straight, Winning Eleven about 8 hours++ straight)
7. Burn fats. These fats, they're bastards.

fyi PES stands for Professional Evolution Soccer and Liverpool rocks.

LUQ

The following picture has no association with Pope Luke. It is just a random Pope picture.

Well, if I were to become a pope I would consider to take the name Pope Luke too. I see myself more Luke rather than John or Benedict. Well, it crossed my mind thanks to Dan Brown.

Well, like Dan Brown stated, Luke's a physician. Well, it is quite an irony that Dan Brown ends the plot with the pope decided to choose Luke, just to show that Christian and science are compatible. Dan Brown, you can do more than that, lame.

Luke. Considered that my name contains the pronounciation of 'Luke' so it's kinda cool. But i had some dude calling me Luke well, it's Luq actually but what the heck. Plus, I'm pursuing in medical field. Ain't doctors physician? Correct me if i'm wrong.

Till Death Do Us Apart

Sometimes I just wish I could be there on the side of those whom are dear to me when they had their last breath. Two incidents which really moved my heart. It is such a hardship to accept the fact but nevertheless, God knows best.

The first figure. Uncle Mi. Professor Azmi Bin Abdullah. A great uncle. A loving husband. He has terrific personality. A bit of eccentric. Can be cynical. An uncle and a neighbour. A giver. Not really a taker. He never fails to amuse you. A best friend of Papa. The source of amusement for Mama. A professional golfer. A dedicated leader. A responsible colleague. A man that cannot be forget.

Died of cancer which live within him for almost 10 years. Diabetic. He carries the insulin pen everywhere. Had hepatitis B. Can't share anything with him.

I happened to be around quite a while when he was sick. He began to be hospitalised. He was shrinking all the way. I remember visiting him in the ICU. He was extremely weary but he can still afford to make jokes. A strong man he is.

It was Friday. I got back from college and I was planning to pay him a visit. They said he'd gotten worst. That there's no chances and all. So i came back home. Papa promised me to go on a visit after Isya'. So I waited. My intention was never fulfill. He had his last breath right before Isya'.

What kills me the most is that Papa visited him the day before. Well, Papa was always beside him all along together with his wife, Achik. So, Thursday. Out of all sudden on that day, he was looking for me. He asked them where could I be. So Papa told him that I'm in college and that I'll be coming back on Friday to pay a visit. But it never happened.

Another figure. My atok. Dato' Abdul Majid Bin Mohd Din. A charismatic former CPO. A dedicated figure in the Special Service. Tun Razak's aide. A strict father. A friendly grandfather. A great colleague. A joker. A smoker. Never forgets his torchlight. Always swat away the flies while eating. Never get bored watching AF (i hate AF). An awesome grandfather. The one that can never be forgotten.

Hospitalised for quite some time. Can't walk for 2 months. Failed to respond to anything for about 2 weeks. The body system encounters some malfunction. Fail to generate normally.

I get to took care of him during his sick days. I remember the sleepless night in the hospital. Trying to stay awake by washing my hands for every 10 minutes. Took care of him at home. I remember cleaning him. Lifting him. Changes his diapers. I remember the sleepless night convincing nenek to sleep in the hospital. I remember being by his side reciting Yaasin for about 5 to 6 times a day. Whispering kalimah shahadah into his ears somes. I remember being in the hospital on mama's side. When mama cried and said to me, "I think he's going". I remember hugging her and letting her know things will gradually be fine. I remember convincing nenek that she did her best. That that was the greatest. I remember not going to class for a week and missed quite a lot. I remember his last respond when i told him that I'm goin back to college to his ears and he smiled. He made an effort to smile and he uttered "okay,okay", with such a weary and soft voice.

It was Tuesday. I just got back from outing. Went down the bus. Mama called. It was just a normal concern call. I promised her I'll go back to Bentong by the weekend. I asked her how's atok was doing. She said as usual, "macam tu jelah, Dede". So off i go. I had the weekend on my mind. 20 minutes after that. I received a call from my sister, ngangah. I heard her crying. Then I knew. I just knew. He had his last breath right after Maghrib.

I failed to be around these two when they were going. Then I thought, if i pass IB. Well, IF, of course I would be going to some other country. Then, what if others turn were about to come when I was not around? I could not afford not to be by their side. What if it was Papa's, or perhaps Mama's? I could not bare the thoughts. I wanna be there. I just hafta be there.

Al-Fatihah.

Build God, Then We'll Talk

Regardless the inadequate hours of sleep (thanks to Dota), I was able to complete my 9 a.m. grounded slot. Surprisingly I even attend the etiquette talk with a very much retarded looking pants, it was longer on the left side.

*I was a sore-total-loser and a bigtime noob on Dota last night.

Hurm.. Humans would normally try to worry less so that we weary less. 18 years (well, nearly 19) of my life I would prefer to say that I did more wrongs than rights. They are both either in the norm range of the society or even to the stated laws themselves, by all means and any benchmark.

Being in a life where every single step is wrong, is obviously hard. Nothing seems to be right most of the time is just too much for one. How do you live such a succulent with those kind of interference? Well, it is pretty much your own fault if you do something wrong but hey, you and I know well that nobody's flawless. Let's do each other some favour-eh? Let's cut some slack towards each other. You did wrong, I did wrong but hey ain't that even? Oh, I did more wrong? Well, that's up to you to decide and up to me to applied. Hell.

Options. Just another shit-hole trying to messed with your life up. Ever heard of the Peter's Law, The Creed of Sociopathic Obsessive Compulsive? It is stated that 'When given a choice, take both'. Hell. You can never take both options. You're stuck. Once you choose either, you're far away from another. Bastard.

Don't get me wrong that I'm all rebelious or anything. I'm just saying my heart out. When you're getting further, there won't be very much anything to cushion your heart, led fall nor the callous sighs.

When you are left with no options, you want one. Then you screw things up. Well, not you. I know I did. There'll be that time in your life where you meet a point of limitation. When you are lack of options. When you just can't do any shit.

*Am I comlicatedly vindicated or simply defensive? Fuckaroo..

P/s: Don't run after something that you'll never kill but if that is what you want then fire at will.

Pretty Mouth Blue My Eye

Pretty mouth blue my eye:

1. BumbleeBee
2. Elvis Presley
3. Jude Law
4. Frank Sinatra
5. Optimus Prime

I'm like a doctor with the way I always trying to get off.

The holiday is over. Here are couple of things that i got from the hols:

1. I get to see Mama and Papa for i had not seen them about almost a month. God knows how much i missed them.
2. I get to spend time with dayana teaching kids in rural area.
3. People could appreciate you so much by teaching them things that they never know and motivate them for success.
4. I bathed my own grandfather.
5. People whom make 150 bucks a month could have a family. I seriously didn't know that such poverty exist in our country. I'm not ignorant but perhaps shallow.
6. There were more than 5 people that I knew and met died during the holidays.
7. I can never save my dough.
8. I can drive others' car up to 120km/h without license.
9. I can drive others' motorcycle up to 100km/h without license.
10. I wish i can have my license after i failed twice.
11. I am not productive at all. (Not in a way that i cannot produce offspring, damn right I CAN!).
12. I need a goldfish/cactus. I do.
13. I don't think i'm cut out to be a doctor.
14. "You can lose what you never had".
15. Memories could be just another sonuvabitch that would never stop messing up with your mind.
16. "Just because I'm black you think i did it??".
17. Holy shit i haven't touch my homework!
18. I'm alone in the college for tonight. Literally. Alone at the concourse now. I swear i thought i saw a ghost.
19. I missed Melawati.
20. Another two months to a 3 years relationship =D.
21. I listen to Hillary Duff. I am now.
22. I still and always will hate rainy evening.
23. James Blunt's songs hit me in the crotch.
24. Dashboard Confessional can be addictive.
25. I have not completed my grounded slot and therefore i shall this week.
26. There are too many pendings in my life.
27. Death is getting near.
28. ...